There are two verses in the Bible that God has had me dwelling on lately:

“Anyone who listens to the Word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.”  — James 1:23-24

As a parachurch minister and full-time author/speaker, I’ve been stripped down to nothing. Every event we had scheduled through May has canceled, and June may be yet another series of cancellations. Our finances hang in the balance. My weekly routine of hopping on and off of planes to speak to a group of men has been replaced by staying home. My once-longed-for desire of just pulling the plug and sitting in front of the TV has been replaced by being absolutely tired of TV. And as this has happened, I have come to the harsh reality that I’ve looked into a mirror many times over the past decade, only to immediately forget what I look like.

But now it’s not just a single mirror that I can simply turn away from. With every distraction, and even my very occupation, being  temporarily removed, I feel like I’m standing in a veritable Fun House full of mirrors. And no matter where I turn, there’s another mirror in front of me. Just like that Fun House, every mirror casts a different reflection – a radically distorted reflection of who God truly wants me to be.

My “Husband Mirror” zooms into me close up, revealing that I’ve spent way too much time being “Me” centered. I always talk about my day and rarely ask about hers.

The “Spending Time with Family Mirror” casts a skinny reflection, showing me that I don’t spend enough time with them.

The “Tithing Mirror” distorts me so that I look fat, clearly reflecting that I’ve been storing up instead of sowing. The unfounded fear of lack has caused me to keep it all for myself. I’ve grown bloated from withholding what really belongs to God.

My “Fatherhood Mirror” sometimes just makes me disappear completely, as I’ve focused on work and ministry year after year after year.

My “Time with God Mirror” makes me look short. Just like the time I spend with Him.

Everywhere I turn, God is revealing something that I’ve been doing my way, and now, no matter which direction I turn, He shows me something else. I can no longer turn and walk away from one mirror and forget, because there’s always yet another mirror in front of me.

And one by one, in the midst of seemingly having nothing left, He is revealing that I already have everything. We all do.

So much good is coming out of this season:

I’m spending more quality face-to-face time with my wife, and I’m listening more than I’m speaking. Or at least I’m a work in progress with that one.

I’m now more connected with my kids than I have been in years, because I’m intentional about reaching out to them. Nothing is competing for my time.

In spite of not knowing what our financial future holds, and facing a monumental shift in our day-to-day life as a ministry, I’ve rededicated myself to being an obedient and joyful tither because God says: “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.” – Malachi 3:10 NIV

With the gym closed, and no urgent email replies needed, I’ve again put my quiet time with God in first position. And not just a verse or two, but dedicated time to study His Word, meditate on it, and devoted prayer time.

I’ve made a solemn commitment to not carry my old habits back into my life after this momentary time of introspection. I’m pressing into the King of kings, and I’m leaving the results up to Him. I’m going to emerge from this season with only a single mirror, and I won’t forget what I look like ever again.

What about you? What is God showing you in this time of mandatory rest and solitude?

“Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” – Philippians 1:6 NKJV

David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries, author of  the #1 Best Selling “Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus” and creator of the “Who Has Your Six” Men’s Ministry Video Series. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination around the world. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, head over to our website and Contact Us.

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Finally, they found a place to live permanently. Or so they thought. Then their world again fell apart, through no fault of their own, and they found themselves looking for a new home. But this time it was different. You see, this young man is my son. And about a year ago, we reconciled all of our collective differences and he became one of my best friends. In the midst of their deteriorating housing situation, they would come over a few times each week. My wife and I encouraged my son to find a new job, and he did. All he needed was one small victory to see his own potential. They moved into our house, short term, at the beginning of December. For the first time in years, we had an excited 4-year-old in the house on Christmas morning. In truth, we had really only seen her about a dozen times over the first three years of her life, so it was a joyful time in our home. Since we both work from home, my son and I spent our days sitting across the dining room table from each other, working on our respective laptops.

They found a home in South Carolina and just recently relocated. Honestly, it’s left a bit of hole in our world because we’d grown accustomed to our granddaughter talking up a storm at 7:30 every morning over chocolate chip pancakes. I miss seeing my son across the table from me, but I know God has a plan. The entire time they lived under our roof, we did our best to show the love of Christ, in spite of all of the past battles.

On the final Sunday that our extended family lived with us, they came to church. They’d been coming regularly, but we were still always a bit shocked to get a “Yes” to our weekly invitation to join us. We drove separately to church that morning, because the kids had to say a few “Goodbyes” to other family members before heading north for the foreseeable future. On the way to church, his wife began feeling sick. The closer we got to church, the worse the nausea got. We were unaware of what was happening in the car behind us, but when we arrived in the parking lot of the church, my son ran over and nearly collapsed in my arms, sobbing.

“I didn’t know what to do”, he said between sobs, “so I put my hand on her back and asked God to take the sickness away”. Then he whispered into my ear, so as not to be heard by his wife, “She just got out of the car and said, ‘I beat it’, but I know it was God.” Now running late for service, we walked quickly into the building and found a place to sit. As we stood for worship, my son and his wife both sat in their seats. My son was crying. His wife leaned into him and said, “For the first time in a long time, I feel hope.” As our pastor brought the message, which happened to be the beginning of a month-long series, the final Scripture was displayed on the screen…

“They will be able to place their hands on the sick, and they will be healed” –Mark 16:18b NLT

I casually threw an elbow into my son, and he looked up and smiled. It was that day that my son rededicated himself to Jesus. He had indeed come home. Sitting right beside him, his wife handed the Lordship of her life over to Christ. And that afternoon, instead of watching cartoons, all three of them sat on the couch and watched VeggieTales videos (on VHS tape, old school style).

My son even went to my Tuesday night small group. On the way through the door, I cautioned him that they may ask him to talk and I assured him that I would “deflect and absorb” so that he didn’t need to speak. “I’ll talk about everything”, he commented. And believe me, he did. As he recounted every detail, he concluded with a statement that I will never forget. “You know”, he said, “I’ve done a lot of people dirty. I’ve done horrible things to people and abandoned them without warning. I would get tired of rules, and just move on to the next house, starting with his.” He pointed at me as he brought his story to a close, “And the one I treated the worst is the only one who was willing to welcome me back. It didn’t matter what I had done, they just let us move in. My Dad showed me who God really is by forgiving me and opening the house up to my family.”

Know this. Prodigal children do come home, so get that robe and ring ready. Our job is to love them until they do. And when they do, no words need to be spoken. Just love them. God will handle the rest, because He wants them back more than we do. He loves them more than we can.

I guess you could say that both God and I got our son back. And all praise goes to our mighty God.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

— 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

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My latest round of dysfunction reminds me of a scene from Jerry Maguire, that Tom Cruise movie about the professional sports agent who makes a living recruiting top college prospects into the big time.  There’s this one quarterback kid, Frank Cushman, who’s being recruited by every NFL team and every agent, and Jerry has him on the hook.  The only challenge is that the prospect’s father, played by Beau Bridges, won’t sign a contract for representation. But he does say “My word is my bond” and, “I don’t sign contracts, but what you do have is my whole word, and it’s stronger than oak”.  Maguire and Cushman’s dad seal the deal with a handshake.

Even if you haven’t seen Jerry Maguire, you can probably guess what happens.  Another agent, Bob Sugar, comes in and steals the contract from Jerry and even gets it in writing.  It’s NFL signing day, and Sugar has just stolen Maguire’s biggest client.  Jerry confronts the quarterback’s father saying, “I’m still sort of moved by your ‘stronger than oak’ thing”.  But no deal.  Jerry’s out and Sugar’s in.

“My word is stronger than oak”.  Man, an oak is a big tree. And it’s wood is incredibly dense and strong.  They make wine barrels, floors and even Viking ships out of it, for crying out loud.  So to see something that strong compromised would take a lot of force.  Unless it wasn’t made of oak in the first place…

So here’s what I’m trying to get at:      Keep.  Your.  Word.

• If you say you’re going to do something, do it.

• If you commit to following through with a task, do it. On time.

• If you make a commitment to faithfully love your wife until death, do it.

• If you tell your kid that you’ll be at his game, recital or practice, be there.

• If you set an appointment to call or meet, keep it.

• If you screw something up, relationally or even physically, own it.

• If you have to re-schedule, do it in advance, not as an apology after the fact.

This isn’t just because being a man of integrity requires the aforementioned, but keep in mind that other people (aka- your sons, daughters, co-workers, etc.) are going to follow your lead.  If it’s okay for us, then it’s okay for them.

I’m so tired of living in a society where making excuses and shifting the blame to someone else has become the new “normal”.  The root word of “commitment” is “commit”, and I didn’t even need a Greek or Hebrew translation to see it.  When we commit, it’s a covenant to follow though.  It’s non-negotiable and irrevocable.

As a Christian man, I am committed to living as if you could build a ship out of my word.  It won’t sink if you rely on it. It won’t even leak.

I may fail at a lot of Godly man tests, but my word IS stronger than Oak.

How about yours?

Whatever your lips utter you must be sure to do, because you made your vow freely to the LORD your God with your own mouth.—Deuteronomy 23:23

David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.com.

Photo Credit:  Jerry MaGuire/ Tri-Star Pictures

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You know what? The same thing is happening in the church every single week. Every. Single. Week. Over the past few days, I’ve received no less than ten different e-mail replies from men’s leaders who are attempting to bring the live “Rough Cut Men” men’s event to their respective churches. And in every instance, while the wording may be different, the challenge is the same. The pastoral staff is over-thinking, over-analyzing and over-processing. Budget, timing, logistics or details have become a “choke point”, stalling any forward movement. And the platoon of men is stuck in park.

Now, before you get all up in arms thinking I’m going after pastors, I believe that you have one of the most difficult jobs on the planet. It takes some serious skill to keep all those plates spinning without dropping one or two on the floor. Sure, you may have some support people, but at the end of the day, the onus of leadership – and the success or failure of the mission — falls directly on the pastor. Just like a Platoon LT.

But here’s the deal, Pastor. You have a man in your ranks that is dying to lead men. Every morning, he gets up thinking of ways to engage the men around him. He reads books, studies the “terrain” and has a truckload of life experience. You have to admit that any man who wants to lead men’s ministry is sort of a cultural paradox. Everything that this on-fire guy wants to do in the church is completely countercultural to the world. His mission is to see the men around him living Godly lives, holding eachother accountable, praying for eachother and serving the Body of Christ. That sounds like a heck of a mission to me. And a worthy calling.

And guess what?  That man who is attempting the nearly-impossible task of leading your ministry to men likely isn’t a theologian. No, most men’s leaders don’t have multiple seminary degrees, nor can they wax poetic about Paul’s Epistles in the original Greek language. Why? Because it doesn’t matter when the men in your church are getting killed by pornography, bombed by financial trials, trying to correct marital flatspins, and struggling with prodigal children. Sure, the guys need to hear God’s Word on Sunday and that’s your primary mission. But until they’re hanging out with other men who have “spilled the same blood in the same mud”, nothing is going to change. That’s your men’s leader’s mission.

So let him lead. He’s not trying to take over your church or steal your men. He’s not going to bring someone in to speak to your men who will compromise your theology or hijack your tithes and offerings. This guy is your Platoon Sergeant. He knows the terrain, he’s intimately familiar with the men in your church, and he is probably in the midst of a battle just like they are. He has solid tactical “combat” experience, and the men trust him to get the job done.

The men in your church are the spiritual leaders of their families, your church and your community. When they’re spiritually on target, everybody wins — marriages are better, attendance and tithing increases, and children are handed a Godly legacy worth following.

The longer you hold up this passionate men’s leader’s mission, the more your men are going to struggle. Some will leave, some will die on the “battlefield of life” and still others will just sort of vanish. Leading a men’s ministry takes a special breed, and he’s standing next to you waiting for marching orders. If you keep putting it off because it’s “just one more thing to do”, you may also lose that driven and battle-hardened “NCO”.

So pass him the map and the compass, and let him “take point”. Give him the resources he needs and let him fight for your men!

The lives of the men in your church are hanging in the balance. Let him lead.

To bring the live “Rough Cut Men” Movie Experience to your church, brigade, battalion, or business, contact us HERE.

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David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.org. 

The post Platoon: A Message to Pastors about the Men in your Church appeared first on Rough Cut Men.

I’m a self-professed movie freak. But, I didn’t know a single thing about filmmaking until I began shooting a new eight-session video series. Eighteen arduous months of travel put our crew at a dozen different iconic movie locations, including places like the game day locker room at Notre Dame (for our ‘Rudy’ episode), on the deck of an aircraft carrier (for the ‘Top Gun’ segment) and on the floor of NASA Mission Control in Houston (for the ‘Armageddon’ chapter).

The videos are actually more like mini-motion pictures, integrating my speaking with movie sequences from the respective films and a whole lot of “B-roll”.  For you non-filmmakers like me, “B-roll” is what you see on the screen while the narrator is speaking over it.  It can take hours to shoot “B-roll” which, in some instances, will only be on the screen for a matter of seconds. For example, the cameraman would put me on a sidewalk and film my shoes as I walked.  First from the front, then from the back, then from the sides, then from behind my head, and so on. Over and over again.

So, when we found ourselves on Omaha Beach in Normandy, France, to film the “Saving Private Ryan” piece, I was certain that shooting the “B-roll” would be nothing short of a marathon. I did a lot of walking for that one — on the beach, in the cliffside Nazi bunkers, through the streets of Colleville sur Mer, and all over the American cemetery.  But the walking wasn’t the hardest part. It was the kneeling in front of one of the 9,387 tombstones in the cemetery that proved to be both physically, and emotionally, demanding.

“Okay”, the videographer said as he pointed down the row of stones, “just kneel in front of that cross over there.”  In case you were wondering, kneeling for twenty minute without falling over can be rough, especially when you have “Over 50” knees.  I would hear him behind me, then see him out of my peripheral vision with that giant gyro-camera assembly. He’d zoom into my face, then literally fly it over my head.  And all I did, the entire time, was stare at this soldier’s name on the tombstone. He had died on Omaha Beach on D-Day, June 6, 1944, about 500 meters down a cliff from where I was kneeling.

Something really hit me as I stared blankly into the cross-shaped marble. It was the formatting. Every one of those nearly 10,000 tombstones has the exact same information on it.  On each stone, you’ll first see the soldier’s name, then his rank and unit below that, and finally the state he lived in and the date he died in combat (you can see what I mean by looking at the image at the top of this blog).

Ironically, one piece of information that is generally found on a tombstone is absent on every memorial stone in Normandy — a birth date. Not one of them had a birth date.

You know, I have no idea how old that soldier was when he died.  Was he an 18-year-old kid who happened to be “1A” in the draft and just ended up on that beach?  Or was he a 32-year-old guy who decided to join the fight after reading about Pearl Harbor?  He could have been any age, from any walk of life, with any background.

I believe that deep in the heart of every man is the desire to finish well.  It’s in our DNA. No matter how we start, God pushes the reset button every day, giving us a new beginning.  Lamentations 3:22-23 says it like this:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;  great is your faithfulness.

I know I’ve had days where I feel like I just keep getting buried deeper. You may feel like an epic failure right now. Maybe you said the wrong thing to your kid, or your spouse.  Maybe your company just folded and you’re out of a job. Or perhaps you’ve fallen into that same old sin trap…again.

But know this and take heart: Today is a new day. Yesterday is history. It doesn’t matter how you started. It only matters how you finish. The Apostle Paul wrote:

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14)

So get up, brush the dirt off and get back in the fight.

Do you realize that, apart from what’s written in the marble, we know very little about the soldiers in that hilltop field in France?  Were they kids?  Did they have kids?  Were they good fathers?  Good husbands?  Were some of them divorced and remarried?  Alcoholics?  Sunday school teachers?  Business success stories or totally unemployed?  Were they “good guys” or “bad guys” in their families, towns and marketplaces?

Here’s the only thing we do know.  It doesn’t matter what their lives were like prior to June 6, 1944. Regardless of how each of those 9,387 men lived their lives prior to the war, the only thing that matters is what happened on that solitary date that is permanently etched in French marble.

Each of those men died as a war hero.

Every one of those men finished well.  We should too.

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David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.org. 

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Back in September of 2012, my wife and I spent several weeks in South Korea.  No, we weren’t out witnessing in the streets of Seoul. Our mission field, so to speak, was the men of the United States Forces in Korea.  Since the 1950’s, the US has had a military presence in South Korea with the sole aim of keeping North Korea at bay.  The 38^th parallel marks the ‘DMZ’, or de-militarized zone, and tempers on either side of the line are hardly ever at even keel.  Thankfully, it’s common knowledge that our troops are a force to be reckoned with, so North Korea just stays above that invisible line on the map (thanks to fences, artillery and a no-man’s land in between).

Not to sound like a spoiled rotten American citizen, but there isn’t a whole lot of choice when it comes to watching TV in Korea. There are a dozen channels that look more like cross between a really bad college communications project and Pikachu’s nightmare.  The remaining selections are all a part of the Armed Forces Network.  They have one movie channel, one sports channel and a couple of channels which show current dramas, sitcoms, etc.  And during every commercial break, regardless of which AFN channel you watch, you will find ads welcoming new soldiers to the 8^th Army, 7^th Air Force or the ‘ROK’ (that’s Republic of Korea, in military speak).  There are other ads as well, with the AFN running public announcements about Suicide Prevention Week, shaken babies and tales of past military heroism.  It was culture shock, as there were no commercials promoting anything.

Another adjustment has to do with the time difference of thirteen hours.  Basically, you  end up watching Monday Night Football at 10 AM on Tuesday morning, while the 4 PM Sunday NFL games are on at about 5 AM on Monday.  The good news?  SportsCenter is always on, too!

Traveling mostly on Mondays, I often had the chance to catch up on NFL highlights while in our room.  Picture this.  On the AFN channel, I see a heartbroken quarterback at a press conference, committing to playing better next week after blowing at 24-point half time lead.  The look on his face was one of defeat and resolve.  And before coming to the ROK, it would have been pretty moving.

Cut to commercial.  It’s a battle scene from the Vietnam War in black and white, with a voiceover telling the viewer of a soldier who was recognized posthumously for saving four of his comrades.  Evidently, a live grenade had been thrown into his foxhole and this soldier had quickly covered the grenade with this helmet and his body, thus saving his buddies.

Upon returning to game recaps, we see highlights of a football player with a sprained ankle who may be out for 3-6 weeks.

Stunned by the dichotomy, I just sat there listening to sports and thinking of this young man who never made it home from the battlefield.  No, he wasn’t out for a few weeks, nor did he get another shot at it next week. This AFN public announcement was buried in the middle of, forgive me, absolutely useless tales of things which have zero eternal impact.

Every day, we have men dying all around us.  They are walking out on their families, throwing grenades into their marriages and giving up on life.  In the military, suicide is a very real threat; so much so that it requires an entire month to bring awareness to it.

For the most part, at least speaking for myself, our priorities are so grossly out of whack that it’s almost comical.  We get hung up over a bad call by a referee, while we stand by and accept the immutable facts that a) Jesus is coming back and b) our neighbors don’t know Him.  We are a nation of men who major on the minors, and it’s high time we threw ourselves on a grenade instead of crying over a game.

Time is short. The mission field needs you.  What are you going to do about it?

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Take this one, for example.  My mom had this totally beat up 1963 Dodge Dart.  It was white and the paint was reduced to white powder due to her total wax negligence.  It had a push button transmission, and no A/C (in Florida?).  I remember being about 9 years old and having a friend over, when my dad asked me to get the keys out of the Dart.  Apparently, my mother forgot them in the ignition.  So I galloped out to the driveway with my buddy and did the only thing I had ever seen anyone do with keys….I turned them.

The car started and my dad came blasting out of the back door and proceeded to beat my tail in front of my friends.  Yes, he later apologized when he realized that it was an accident and not just me showing off for my friends.

Another one?  Every time my report card would come home, my dad would have to look over his glasses read my grades.  Now that I am about the same age, my glasses don’t work either, so I know why he did that.  I was a pretty good student, and a typical report card consisted of all “A”’s and a “B”.  My dad would take off his glasses and, using the earpiece to point at the lone “B”, ask “What happened here?”   He never mentioned the “A”’s, but he always pointed out the “B”.

A while back, I did a pseudo- inventory of these mini-dramas that circle around in my brain, as I searched for a reason for them.  Why not a Disney trip or fishing memory?

Then it hit me!  These totally disjointed moments from my past make up my “story”.  We all have a “story”.  It’s all of our past experiences, some of them monumental or even earth-shattering, which have formed how we think of ourselves.  It’s really our own personal truth about us, and everything we do revolves around it.  Let me unpack my two flashbacks, so you get what I mean.

First, I am asked to get the keys and screw it up by starting the car.  Message received?  “David, you didn’t do that right”.  Second, I get all “A”s and one “B”, and the “B” becomes the main topic of discussion.  Message received?  “David, you didn’t do that right”.

And you know what?  Even through adulthood, I have operated believing that same “story”.  I can receive a thousand positive comments and one terrible review, and I will dwell on that one bad e-mail.  I will pick myself apart, thinking “David, you didn’t do that right”.  My personal “story” is “I can’t do anything right”.

I know people who have been abandoned by their fathers at a very young age.  When they get older, their marriages melt down and they end up divorced.  After a couple of failed relationships, often through no fault of their own, they develop a “story” that essentially says, “I’m not worth sticking around for”.

What’s worse is that people with this type of “story” end up fearing that someone will leave them, so they either stay very emotionally uncommitted, or they hold on so tightly that they suffocate the other person.  And you know what happens?  That person leaves them, which just further validates the “story” that “I’m not worth sticking around for”. It becomes self-fulfilling prophecy!

Since we all have these background-based “stories”, which are really just a lie that we buy into, how do we change it?  Simple.  Replace our “story” with what God says about us.

If your story is “Everybody leaves me”, remember that God says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deut. 31:6).  By the way, “never” means never!

If your story is “I’m not worth liking”, remember that God says you are “fearfully and wonderfully made”. (Ps.131:14).  Quit telling God that He did a bad job assembling you!  God doesn’t make junk.

And if your story is like mine, “I can’t do anything right”, take a look at what God says; “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. (Phil 4:13)

Don’t buy the lie of your past.  God’s story is the true story about us.   So what’s your story?

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David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.com. 

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I’m a Christian man.  I’m a follower of Jesus, a husband and a dad.  I’m also the director of an international speaking ministry.  And I’m tired of getting my butt kicked by the enemy.

Every single morning for a while now, I get up praying that today will be better than yesterday. I do my best to talk myself into being positive and all it takes is one deviation from a “good day” for me to turn into Johnny Raincloud.  It’s not like I don’t know what to do.  I pray, I ask God to help me and I certainly have the faith to know that He’s there, and that He cares.

But deep down inside, I wonder how I got here.  How did I get to this place where I don’t even want to get up again.  After all, every time I get up, I just get pounded, so it’s easier to just stay down.  You know what I mean?  Just when the budget is right, the refrigerator dies.  Or just when I think I’m doing things right by my kids or my wife, it goes south.  And suddenly, apathy becomes the new normal.

And the worst part of all?  In spite of my gift of building men up, I have been unable or otherwise incapable of self-diagnosing why I’m in this hole.

That is, until I was speaking with a good friend, a young Chaplain in the Army, and I was finally able to verbalize what I’ve been feeling.

No, it isn’t apathy nor is it defeat.  I’m just plain sick and tired of getting shot at by the enemy.  I’m angry about it.  I’m righteously indignant even.  I’m on this mission, and every time I am ready to move forward, that sniper fires a shot at me from the treeline and I duck back down into my foxhole of apathy.  At first, I would fight back.  But after a while, I expected to receive harassing fire, so I stopped moving.  Even my battle buddy is down, so there’s no covering fire either.

I have this friend named Will Parish. Will was drafted into the Army in 1963 and served 2 years…and 4 days.  Those last four days, SP4 Parish was a machine gunner with Charlie Company, 1^st Battalion/7^th Cavalry Airmobile in the Central Highlands of Vietnam.  He is one of the guys from the Battle of Ia Drang made famous by the movie We Were Soldiers.

Will isn’t a fan of being called a “hero”.  He’ll tell you that he “just did my job”. But SP4 Parish did something pretty epic.  He says he doesn’t remember much about the night that his foxhole was about to be overrun by the enemy, but he does recall thinking, “I don’t even know these guys and they’re trying to kill me” and “Aren’t they ever going to run out of people?”  By the way, at the outset of this 3-day battle, our guys were outnumbered about 5 to 1.

It was dark, and Parish and his ammo man were on the backside of the LZ (Landing Zone).  The major part of the battle was behind them, and Parish had placed trip wires attached to flares across the treeline in case the enemy approached the clearing where their foxhole was.

Suddenly, those little trip flares started lighting up, so Parish started unloading his M-60 at the treeline.  Sure, he doesn’t remember much that happened after the first expended shell ejected onto the ground.  But, by the time it was over, Will Parish had killed over 100 enemy soldiers. When I asked him how he did it, he simply said:

“I just kept firing until the enemy stopped coming.”

It’s time for me to view this battle in my life differently.  I have this enemy who wants to “steal, kill and destroy” (John 10:10).  Satan may be an expert at demoralizing me, but he’s outgunned, outmanned and destined to lose.  Period.

The Bible says “Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4)

I’m turning this feeling of defeat into pure, unadulterated soldier power.  The same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in me (Romans 8:11).  I’m not going to stay down any longer.  You can shoot at me, but you won’t kill me. You can rattle me with noise, but no weapon forged against me will prosper (Isaiah 54:17).

I’m mad, and I’m not going to take it any more. I’m going to keep firing. I am a soldier in the army of the Most High God.

Lock and load!

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David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.com. 

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For some background, all “Firsties” get selected upon graduating from the Academy. Some “Mids” head to flight school to become fighter pilots, while others go to BUD/s School to become SEALS. Another route as a newly commissioned Navy officer is to become a SWO, or Surface Warfare Officer, aboard a ship. And the really hardcore guys head to Quantico, home of the IOC or “Infantry Officer Candidate” school, where they get beat up for ten grueling weeks. Many of them don’t make the cut.

Well, there was no doubt where this kid wanted to go after graduation. He was a Marine to the core. Ironically, the selection process occurred during the week of my visit to the USNA. Every senior that I met had a big grin on his face, as they had pulled the exact duty station they wanted. Except for my friend.

After four years at the Naval Academy, he was punched in the gut when the Marine Corps opted to not select him for IOC. Instead, he was heading to a ship. And he looked like someone had just killed his dog. I remember telling this Christian young man, “Never look at things as rejection, but direction. God has something better in mind.” In hindsight, I’m surprised he didn’t kill me right there. I think we all know what it’s like when some moron puts a spiritual spin on terrible news, and here I was, dishing it out.

After two years, he suddenly appeared in my Facebook inbox. He told me how miserable he was on board a ship, and was still reeling about not being selected for Marine IOC. He asked for my prayers, then disappeared again for several months.

He recently popped up on my screen again. He asked that I keep him in my thoughts (notice he didn’t say “prayers” this time). After a little probing, he told me that he had gotten connected with a fellow officer who said he was a believer. After a while, his Christian “mentor” got him involved in some sort of ministry and ultimately drained this young officer of most of his bank account. My young friend had prayed to God for a “father figure”, because his real dad had all but abdicated the position. And he got burned. He did inform me, however, that he was able to break away from the ministry prior to being deployed (I still have no idea where he is, as it’s classified). The last entry of this particular rant ended, quite succinctly, with:

“I have decided to end my walk with God. Permanently.”

Now, I could give you all the details, but then I’d have to kill you. Not really, but let’s just say this kid got blasted by a fellow believer. I am still doing major damage control, but the long and short of it is that he’s back on the team and I’m somehow mentoring him in spite of a seven hour time difference and lousy shipboard internet.

Gentlemen, we Christians are our own worst enemy sometimes. All it takes is a guy like my buddy met to permanently repel a man from the Kingdom. This isn’t the first time I’ve met a man who threw the Jesus baby out with the sinner’s bathwater. It happens all the time.

Remember that we are dealing with men who may be in spiritual triage. Take time to get to know their stories, and show them what a man of God really is. And never, ever violate their trust.

David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.com. 

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It’s the mid-1980’s, and Andrew has just been fired from his long time career—- as an attorney, of all things.  Up until a few days ago, Beckett was a key player at a large conservative Philadelphia law firm.  He was the rising star.  The starting QB.  He was the guy whose number got called for the big cases.  And he was fired.

You may recognize this story line as the one from the movie “Philadelphia”, which stars Tom Hanks as Beckett and Denzel Washington as his not-so-polished attorney.  Beckett was indeed fired, and it was cited by his firm that it was performance based.  But it was, in fact, due to the young man’s diagnosis with the then-relatively-unknown disease called AIDS.  His firm wanted nothing to do with Andrew’s lifestyle or his illness, so they released him as quickly as possible.

So now Beckett is in Miller’s office, with zero options.  As they meet and exchange pleasantries, it appears to be the convergence of two legal minds.  Beckett gives Miller the backstory, and then discloses the real reason for his sudden termination from the firm.  Miller, visibly shaken at the word ‘AIDS’, states “Sorry, but I just don’t see a case, counselor”.  Miller is pretty quick to get Beckett out of his office and so calls an end to the meeting.

And what does Miller do the minute that Andrew Beckett is gone?  He sanitizes his whole office…the stapler, the chair and anything else that the sick man has touched.  Then he gets on the phone for an immediate doctor’s appointment to confirm that he too has not been infected with AIDS.  It’s really sort of comical, considering that we now know that HIV can’t be transmitted through a Swingline.

Let’s take the same scenario, and move it into our community of men, both in and out of the church.  Not the AIDS part, but Miller’s reaction to it.  We get together with other men, we sharpen each other and we pray for eachother.  At church, we greet men and we really want them to be a part of what God is doing.

However, the minute a man in our group says that he is battling pornography, is having an affair, lost his job or is in the throes of an unrecoverable marital flatspin, something happens to us.   We often back away, as if there is some way that we are going to catch it.  Just like Joe Miller’s fear of contracting AIDS from a doorknob, we pull back, sanitize ourselves and often go “superficial” on the man.  At the very moment when he needs us the most, we freak out and bail on him.

You know, Jesus made a point of hanging out with the people that you and I would be the most likely to run from.  Lepers, sick people, losers, rejects…and He loved them.  In Mark 2, Jesus said that it wasn’t the healthy who needed the doctor, but the sick.  He stopped dead in his tracks when the bleeding woman touched the hem of his garment, even though He was busy and on His way somewhere else. He healed blind guys, lepers and paralytics.  And in John 8, Jesus didn’t condemn the adulteress, even when the whole town wanted to stone her to death.  It didn’t matter if the person was physically ill, or just a societal trainwreck, Jesus cared about them.

So the next time a close friend tells you that his wife is leaving, don’t chase the guy out of your office.  Divorce isn’t contagious, addiction can’t be spread by a handshake and I promise that he won’t sneeze his cancer all over you.  Get in the game, love like Jesus and walk these guys through their pain.

Remember: “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:40)

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David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.com. 

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