Finally, they found a place to live permanently. Or so they thought. Then their world again fell apart, through no fault of their own, and they found themselves looking for a new home. But this time it was different. You see, this young man is my son. And about a year ago, we reconciled all of our collective differences and he became one of my best friends. In the midst of their deteriorating housing situation, they would come over a few times each week. My wife and I encouraged my son to find a new job, and he did. All he needed was one small victory to see his own potential. They moved into our house, short term, at the beginning of December. For the first time in years, we had an excited 4-year-old in the house on Christmas morning. In truth, we had really only seen her about a dozen times over the first three years of her life, so it was a joyful time in our home. Since we both work from home, my son and I spent our days sitting across the dining room table from each other, working on our respective laptops.

They found a home in South Carolina and just recently relocated. Honestly, it’s left a bit of hole in our world because we’d grown accustomed to our granddaughter talking up a storm at 7:30 every morning over chocolate chip pancakes. I miss seeing my son across the table from me, but I know God has a plan. The entire time they lived under our roof, we did our best to show the love of Christ, in spite of all of the past battles.

On the final Sunday that our extended family lived with us, they came to church. They’d been coming regularly, but we were still always a bit shocked to get a “Yes” to our weekly invitation to join us. We drove separately to church that morning, because the kids had to say a few “Goodbyes” to other family members before heading north for the foreseeable future. On the way to church, his wife began feeling sick. The closer we got to church, the worse the nausea got. We were unaware of what was happening in the car behind us, but when we arrived in the parking lot of the church, my son ran over and nearly collapsed in my arms, sobbing.

“I didn’t know what to do”, he said between sobs, “so I put my hand on her back and asked God to take the sickness away”. Then he whispered into my ear, so as not to be heard by his wife, “She just got out of the car and said, ‘I beat it’, but I know it was God.” Now running late for service, we walked quickly into the building and found a place to sit. As we stood for worship, my son and his wife both sat in their seats. My son was crying. His wife leaned into him and said, “For the first time in a long time, I feel hope.” As our pastor brought the message, which happened to be the beginning of a month-long series, the final Scripture was displayed on the screen…

“They will be able to place their hands on the sick, and they will be healed” –Mark 16:18b NLT

I casually threw an elbow into my son, and he looked up and smiled. It was that day that my son rededicated himself to Jesus. He had indeed come home. Sitting right beside him, his wife handed the Lordship of her life over to Christ. And that afternoon, instead of watching cartoons, all three of them sat on the couch and watched VeggieTales videos (on VHS tape, old school style).

My son even went to my Tuesday night small group. On the way through the door, I cautioned him that they may ask him to talk and I assured him that I would “deflect and absorb” so that he didn’t need to speak. “I’ll talk about everything”, he commented. And believe me, he did. As he recounted every detail, he concluded with a statement that I will never forget. “You know”, he said, “I’ve done a lot of people dirty. I’ve done horrible things to people and abandoned them without warning. I would get tired of rules, and just move on to the next house, starting with his.” He pointed at me as he brought his story to a close, “And the one I treated the worst is the only one who was willing to welcome me back. It didn’t matter what I had done, they just let us move in. My Dad showed me who God really is by forgiving me and opening the house up to my family.”

Know this. Prodigal children do come home, so get that robe and ring ready. Our job is to love them until they do. And when they do, no words need to be spoken. Just love them. God will handle the rest, because He wants them back more than we do. He loves them more than we can.

I guess you could say that both God and I got our son back. And all praise goes to our mighty God.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

— 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

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Take this one, for example.  My mom had this totally beat up 1963 Dodge Dart.  It was white and the paint was reduced to white powder due to her total wax negligence.  It had a push button transmission, and no A/C (in Florida?).  I remember being about 9 years old and having a friend over, when my dad asked me to get the keys out of the Dart.  Apparently, my mother forgot them in the ignition.  So I galloped out to the driveway with my buddy and did the only thing I had ever seen anyone do with keys….I turned them.

The car started and my dad came blasting out of the back door and proceeded to beat my tail in front of my friends.  Yes, he later apologized when he realized that it was an accident and not just me showing off for my friends.

Another one?  Every time my report card would come home, my dad would have to look over his glasses read my grades.  Now that I am about the same age, my glasses don’t work either, so I know why he did that.  I was a pretty good student, and a typical report card consisted of all “A”’s and a “B”.  My dad would take off his glasses and, using the earpiece to point at the lone “B”, ask “What happened here?”   He never mentioned the “A”’s, but he always pointed out the “B”.

A while back, I did a pseudo- inventory of these mini-dramas that circle around in my brain, as I searched for a reason for them.  Why not a Disney trip or fishing memory?

Then it hit me!  These totally disjointed moments from my past make up my “story”.  We all have a “story”.  It’s all of our past experiences, some of them monumental or even earth-shattering, which have formed how we think of ourselves.  It’s really our own personal truth about us, and everything we do revolves around it.  Let me unpack my two flashbacks, so you get what I mean.

First, I am asked to get the keys and screw it up by starting the car.  Message received?  “David, you didn’t do that right”.  Second, I get all “A”s and one “B”, and the “B” becomes the main topic of discussion.  Message received?  “David, you didn’t do that right”.

And you know what?  Even through adulthood, I have operated believing that same “story”.  I can receive a thousand positive comments and one terrible review, and I will dwell on that one bad e-mail.  I will pick myself apart, thinking “David, you didn’t do that right”.  My personal “story” is “I can’t do anything right”.

I know people who have been abandoned by their fathers at a very young age.  When they get older, their marriages melt down and they end up divorced.  After a couple of failed relationships, often through no fault of their own, they develop a “story” that essentially says, “I’m not worth sticking around for”.

What’s worse is that people with this type of “story” end up fearing that someone will leave them, so they either stay very emotionally uncommitted, or they hold on so tightly that they suffocate the other person.  And you know what happens?  That person leaves them, which just further validates the “story” that “I’m not worth sticking around for”. It becomes self-fulfilling prophecy!

Since we all have these background-based “stories”, which are really just a lie that we buy into, how do we change it?  Simple.  Replace our “story” with what God says about us.

If your story is “Everybody leaves me”, remember that God says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deut. 31:6).  By the way, “never” means never!

If your story is “I’m not worth liking”, remember that God says you are “fearfully and wonderfully made”. (Ps.131:14).  Quit telling God that He did a bad job assembling you!  God doesn’t make junk.

And if your story is like mine, “I can’t do anything right”, take a look at what God says; “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. (Phil 4:13)

Don’t buy the lie of your past.  God’s story is the true story about us.   So what’s your story?

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David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.com. 

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