You know what? The same thing is happening in the church every single week. Every. Single. Week. Over the past few days, I’ve received no less than ten different e-mail replies from men’s leaders who are attempting to bring the live “Rough Cut Men” men’s event to their respective churches. And in every instance, while the wording may be different, the challenge is the same. The pastoral staff is over-thinking, over-analyzing and over-processing. Budget, timing, logistics or details have become a “choke point”, stalling any forward movement. And the platoon of men is stuck in park.

Now, before you get all up in arms thinking I’m going after pastors, I believe that you have one of the most difficult jobs on the planet. It takes some serious skill to keep all those plates spinning without dropping one or two on the floor. Sure, you may have some support people, but at the end of the day, the onus of leadership – and the success or failure of the mission — falls directly on the pastor. Just like a Platoon LT.

But here’s the deal, Pastor. You have a man in your ranks that is dying to lead men. Every morning, he gets up thinking of ways to engage the men around him. He reads books, studies the “terrain” and has a truckload of life experience. You have to admit that any man who wants to lead men’s ministry is sort of a cultural paradox. Everything that this on-fire guy wants to do in the church is completely countercultural to the world. His mission is to see the men around him living Godly lives, holding eachother accountable, praying for eachother and serving the Body of Christ. That sounds like a heck of a mission to me. And a worthy calling.

And guess what?  That man who is attempting the nearly-impossible task of leading your ministry to men likely isn’t a theologian. No, most men’s leaders don’t have multiple seminary degrees, nor can they wax poetic about Paul’s Epistles in the original Greek language. Why? Because it doesn’t matter when the men in your church are getting killed by pornography, bombed by financial trials, trying to correct marital flatspins, and struggling with prodigal children. Sure, the guys need to hear God’s Word on Sunday and that’s your primary mission. But until they’re hanging out with other men who have “spilled the same blood in the same mud”, nothing is going to change. That’s your men’s leader’s mission.

So let him lead. He’s not trying to take over your church or steal your men. He’s not going to bring someone in to speak to your men who will compromise your theology or hijack your tithes and offerings. This guy is your Platoon Sergeant. He knows the terrain, he’s intimately familiar with the men in your church, and he is probably in the midst of a battle just like they are. He has solid tactical “combat” experience, and the men trust him to get the job done.

The men in your church are the spiritual leaders of their families, your church and your community. When they’re spiritually on target, everybody wins — marriages are better, attendance and tithing increases, and children are handed a Godly legacy worth following.

The longer you hold up this passionate men’s leader’s mission, the more your men are going to struggle. Some will leave, some will die on the “battlefield of life” and still others will just sort of vanish. Leading a men’s ministry takes a special breed, and he’s standing next to you waiting for marching orders. If you keep putting it off because it’s “just one more thing to do”, you may also lose that driven and battle-hardened “NCO”.

So pass him the map and the compass, and let him “take point”. Give him the resources he needs and let him fight for your men!

The lives of the men in your church are hanging in the balance. Let him lead.

To bring the live “Rough Cut Men” Movie Experience to your church, brigade, battalion, or business, contact us HERE.

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David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.org. 

The post Platoon: A Message to Pastors about the Men in your Church appeared first on Rough Cut Men.

For some background, all “Firsties” get selected upon graduating from the Academy. Some “Mids” head to flight school to become fighter pilots, while others go to BUD/s School to become SEALS. Another route as a newly commissioned Navy officer is to become a SWO, or Surface Warfare Officer, aboard a ship. And the really hardcore guys head to Quantico, home of the IOC or “Infantry Officer Candidate” school, where they get beat up for ten grueling weeks. Many of them don’t make the cut.

Well, there was no doubt where this kid wanted to go after graduation. He was a Marine to the core. Ironically, the selection process occurred during the week of my visit to the USNA. Every senior that I met had a big grin on his face, as they had pulled the exact duty station they wanted. Except for my friend.

After four years at the Naval Academy, he was punched in the gut when the Marine Corps opted to not select him for IOC. Instead, he was heading to a ship. And he looked like someone had just killed his dog. I remember telling this Christian young man, “Never look at things as rejection, but direction. God has something better in mind.” In hindsight, I’m surprised he didn’t kill me right there. I think we all know what it’s like when some moron puts a spiritual spin on terrible news, and here I was, dishing it out.

After two years, he suddenly appeared in my Facebook inbox. He told me how miserable he was on board a ship, and was still reeling about not being selected for Marine IOC. He asked for my prayers, then disappeared again for several months.

He recently popped up on my screen again. He asked that I keep him in my thoughts (notice he didn’t say “prayers” this time). After a little probing, he told me that he had gotten connected with a fellow officer who said he was a believer. After a while, his Christian “mentor” got him involved in some sort of ministry and ultimately drained this young officer of most of his bank account. My young friend had prayed to God for a “father figure”, because his real dad had all but abdicated the position. And he got burned. He did inform me, however, that he was able to break away from the ministry prior to being deployed (I still have no idea where he is, as it’s classified). The last entry of this particular rant ended, quite succinctly, with:

“I have decided to end my walk with God. Permanently.”

Now, I could give you all the details, but then I’d have to kill you. Not really, but let’s just say this kid got blasted by a fellow believer. I am still doing major damage control, but the long and short of it is that he’s back on the team and I’m somehow mentoring him in spite of a seven hour time difference and lousy shipboard internet.

Gentlemen, we Christians are our own worst enemy sometimes. All it takes is a guy like my buddy met to permanently repel a man from the Kingdom. This isn’t the first time I’ve met a man who threw the Jesus baby out with the sinner’s bathwater. It happens all the time.

Remember that we are dealing with men who may be in spiritual triage. Take time to get to know their stories, and show them what a man of God really is. And never, ever violate their trust.

David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.com. 

The post Man Repellent appeared first on Rough Cut Men.

You can’t blame the egg for breaking, since it has a paper thin shell that isn’t designed to be dropped.  It doesn’t make much sense to yell at your car when it sputters to a stall because you forgot to stop and put gas in it.  And I don’t need to explain the whole “big pansy” cause-and-effect, do I?

So why is it that I keep hearing men whining about marriages, jobs and mortgages, but simultaneously verbalizing exactly zero responsibility?  I hear a bunch of hapless and helpless victims.  If we are who we say we are, it’s time to stop playing the victim and it’s time to start seeing how we may have contributed to our own disaster.

How about a little rundown of some real-life examples?

“None of my friends like me, so I just avoid hanging with the jerks”— Really?  If every one of them doesn’t like you, and you are always one half of the equation, then maybe it’s time to take a good look at the common denominator in all of those relationships.  When we keep getting bad reviews, we need to look in the mirror. It ain’t them.  It’s us.

“I keep praying for God to change my wife”— Come on, man.  Have you ever taken a hard look at 1 Peter 3:7?  God isn’t interested in our prayers to change the other person.  His desire is the change US into the image of His Son.

“I keep praying for provision, but God isn’t listening”— Since when did we become God?  Were we there when He laid the foundations of the earth?  It’s not common reading, but take ten minutes and read Job 38.  Then pray, wait and do your part as He opens doors.  But for the love of Pete (who the heck is “Pete”, anyway?), quit whining about God not listening.

“I can’t find a job. No one ever calls me. These companies suck.”— Ever been hunting?  You stalk the prey and kill it.  The deer is NOT going to walk into your living room and say, “Man, I’ve been looking for you.  Please shoot me.”  That’s why it’s called “job hunting”.  It’s not the fault of the businesses for not calling.  Be relentless.  Go out and kill the job.  Call them back until they are sick of hearing your voice on the other end of the phone.  God will provide.

You want one from the Bible?  Try on King Saul in 1 Samuel 15.  After God specifically tells Saul to go kill ALL of the Amalekites (men, women, kids, hamsters, etc.), he decides to keep some of the best animals.  Samuel, the prophet, shows up and asks Saul why he didn’t follow God’s command.  Saul’s answer? He blames the soldiers he was with.  He owns precisely none of it, in spite of being the king over everyone.

We are only responsible for us, not the other guy.  They may or may not be a contributor to our current state of affairs, but blaming them, while accepting no personal responsibility ourselves, is just ridiculous.  It’s high time we took our eyes off of the other guy and started focusing on ourselves.  And on God.

Friends don’t like you?:  “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)

Wish you had a better marriage?:  “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3)

Playing a good church game, but things going wrong?:  “Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD?” (1 Samuel 15:22)

Think God doesn’t care?  Read 1 Peter 5:7, Luke 12:7 and John 3:16.

Bottom line?  Quit whining about the other guy.  It’s not always the other person’s fault.  We can only control how we respond.  You weren’t dealt a bad hand, and not everyone is out to get you.

You are a soldier and a son of the Most High God…start acting like one…

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David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.com. 

The post Playing the Victim appeared first on Rough Cut Men.