There are two verses in the Bible that God has had me dwelling on lately:

“Anyone who listens to the Word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.”  — James 1:23-24

As a parachurch minister and full-time author/speaker, I’ve been stripped down to nothing. Every event we had scheduled through May has canceled, and June may be yet another series of cancellations. Our finances hang in the balance. My weekly routine of hopping on and off of planes to speak to a group of men has been replaced by staying home. My once-longed-for desire of just pulling the plug and sitting in front of the TV has been replaced by being absolutely tired of TV. And as this has happened, I have come to the harsh reality that I’ve looked into a mirror many times over the past decade, only to immediately forget what I look like.

But now it’s not just a single mirror that I can simply turn away from. With every distraction, and even my very occupation, being  temporarily removed, I feel like I’m standing in a veritable Fun House full of mirrors. And no matter where I turn, there’s another mirror in front of me. Just like that Fun House, every mirror casts a different reflection – a radically distorted reflection of who God truly wants me to be.

My “Husband Mirror” zooms into me close up, revealing that I’ve spent way too much time being “Me” centered. I always talk about my day and rarely ask about hers.

The “Spending Time with Family Mirror” casts a skinny reflection, showing me that I don’t spend enough time with them.

The “Tithing Mirror” distorts me so that I look fat, clearly reflecting that I’ve been storing up instead of sowing. The unfounded fear of lack has caused me to keep it all for myself. I’ve grown bloated from withholding what really belongs to God.

My “Fatherhood Mirror” sometimes just makes me disappear completely, as I’ve focused on work and ministry year after year after year.

My “Time with God Mirror” makes me look short. Just like the time I spend with Him.

Everywhere I turn, God is revealing something that I’ve been doing my way, and now, no matter which direction I turn, He shows me something else. I can no longer turn and walk away from one mirror and forget, because there’s always yet another mirror in front of me.

And one by one, in the midst of seemingly having nothing left, He is revealing that I already have everything. We all do.

So much good is coming out of this season:

I’m spending more quality face-to-face time with my wife, and I’m listening more than I’m speaking. Or at least I’m a work in progress with that one.

I’m now more connected with my kids than I have been in years, because I’m intentional about reaching out to them. Nothing is competing for my time.

In spite of not knowing what our financial future holds, and facing a monumental shift in our day-to-day life as a ministry, I’ve rededicated myself to being an obedient and joyful tither because God says: “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.” – Malachi 3:10 NIV

With the gym closed, and no urgent email replies needed, I’ve again put my quiet time with God in first position. And not just a verse or two, but dedicated time to study His Word, meditate on it, and devoted prayer time.

I’ve made a solemn commitment to not carry my old habits back into my life after this momentary time of introspection. I’m pressing into the King of kings, and I’m leaving the results up to Him. I’m going to emerge from this season with only a single mirror, and I won’t forget what I look like ever again.

What about you? What is God showing you in this time of mandatory rest and solitude?

“Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” – Philippians 1:6 NKJV

David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries, author of  the #1 Best Selling “Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus” and creator of the “Who Has Your Six” Men’s Ministry Video Series. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination around the world. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, head over to our website and Contact Us.

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My latest round of dysfunction reminds me of a scene from Jerry Maguire, that Tom Cruise movie about the professional sports agent who makes a living recruiting top college prospects into the big time.  There’s this one quarterback kid, Frank Cushman, who’s being recruited by every NFL team and every agent, and Jerry has him on the hook.  The only challenge is that the prospect’s father, played by Beau Bridges, won’t sign a contract for representation. But he does say “My word is my bond” and, “I don’t sign contracts, but what you do have is my whole word, and it’s stronger than oak”.  Maguire and Cushman’s dad seal the deal with a handshake.

Even if you haven’t seen Jerry Maguire, you can probably guess what happens.  Another agent, Bob Sugar, comes in and steals the contract from Jerry and even gets it in writing.  It’s NFL signing day, and Sugar has just stolen Maguire’s biggest client.  Jerry confronts the quarterback’s father saying, “I’m still sort of moved by your ‘stronger than oak’ thing”.  But no deal.  Jerry’s out and Sugar’s in.

“My word is stronger than oak”.  Man, an oak is a big tree. And it’s wood is incredibly dense and strong.  They make wine barrels, floors and even Viking ships out of it, for crying out loud.  So to see something that strong compromised would take a lot of force.  Unless it wasn’t made of oak in the first place…

So here’s what I’m trying to get at:      Keep.  Your.  Word.

• If you say you’re going to do something, do it.

• If you commit to following through with a task, do it. On time.

• If you make a commitment to faithfully love your wife until death, do it.

• If you tell your kid that you’ll be at his game, recital or practice, be there.

• If you set an appointment to call or meet, keep it.

• If you screw something up, relationally or even physically, own it.

• If you have to re-schedule, do it in advance, not as an apology after the fact.

This isn’t just because being a man of integrity requires the aforementioned, but keep in mind that other people (aka- your sons, daughters, co-workers, etc.) are going to follow your lead.  If it’s okay for us, then it’s okay for them.

I’m so tired of living in a society where making excuses and shifting the blame to someone else has become the new “normal”.  The root word of “commitment” is “commit”, and I didn’t even need a Greek or Hebrew translation to see it.  When we commit, it’s a covenant to follow though.  It’s non-negotiable and irrevocable.

As a Christian man, I am committed to living as if you could build a ship out of my word.  It won’t sink if you rely on it. It won’t even leak.

I may fail at a lot of Godly man tests, but my word IS stronger than Oak.

How about yours?

Whatever your lips utter you must be sure to do, because you made your vow freely to the LORD your God with your own mouth.—Deuteronomy 23:23

David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.com.

Photo Credit:  Jerry MaGuire/ Tri-Star Pictures

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Back in September of 2012, my wife and I spent several weeks in South Korea.  No, we weren’t out witnessing in the streets of Seoul. Our mission field, so to speak, was the men of the United States Forces in Korea.  Since the 1950’s, the US has had a military presence in South Korea with the sole aim of keeping North Korea at bay.  The 38^th parallel marks the ‘DMZ’, or de-militarized zone, and tempers on either side of the line are hardly ever at even keel.  Thankfully, it’s common knowledge that our troops are a force to be reckoned with, so North Korea just stays above that invisible line on the map (thanks to fences, artillery and a no-man’s land in between).

Not to sound like a spoiled rotten American citizen, but there isn’t a whole lot of choice when it comes to watching TV in Korea. There are a dozen channels that look more like cross between a really bad college communications project and Pikachu’s nightmare.  The remaining selections are all a part of the Armed Forces Network.  They have one movie channel, one sports channel and a couple of channels which show current dramas, sitcoms, etc.  And during every commercial break, regardless of which AFN channel you watch, you will find ads welcoming new soldiers to the 8^th Army, 7^th Air Force or the ‘ROK’ (that’s Republic of Korea, in military speak).  There are other ads as well, with the AFN running public announcements about Suicide Prevention Week, shaken babies and tales of past military heroism.  It was culture shock, as there were no commercials promoting anything.

Another adjustment has to do with the time difference of thirteen hours.  Basically, you  end up watching Monday Night Football at 10 AM on Tuesday morning, while the 4 PM Sunday NFL games are on at about 5 AM on Monday.  The good news?  SportsCenter is always on, too!

Traveling mostly on Mondays, I often had the chance to catch up on NFL highlights while in our room.  Picture this.  On the AFN channel, I see a heartbroken quarterback at a press conference, committing to playing better next week after blowing at 24-point half time lead.  The look on his face was one of defeat and resolve.  And before coming to the ROK, it would have been pretty moving.

Cut to commercial.  It’s a battle scene from the Vietnam War in black and white, with a voiceover telling the viewer of a soldier who was recognized posthumously for saving four of his comrades.  Evidently, a live grenade had been thrown into his foxhole and this soldier had quickly covered the grenade with this helmet and his body, thus saving his buddies.

Upon returning to game recaps, we see highlights of a football player with a sprained ankle who may be out for 3-6 weeks.

Stunned by the dichotomy, I just sat there listening to sports and thinking of this young man who never made it home from the battlefield.  No, he wasn’t out for a few weeks, nor did he get another shot at it next week. This AFN public announcement was buried in the middle of, forgive me, absolutely useless tales of things which have zero eternal impact.

Every day, we have men dying all around us.  They are walking out on their families, throwing grenades into their marriages and giving up on life.  In the military, suicide is a very real threat; so much so that it requires an entire month to bring awareness to it.

For the most part, at least speaking for myself, our priorities are so grossly out of whack that it’s almost comical.  We get hung up over a bad call by a referee, while we stand by and accept the immutable facts that a) Jesus is coming back and b) our neighbors don’t know Him.  We are a nation of men who major on the minors, and it’s high time we threw ourselves on a grenade instead of crying over a game.

Time is short. The mission field needs you.  What are you going to do about it?

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Take this one, for example.  My mom had this totally beat up 1963 Dodge Dart.  It was white and the paint was reduced to white powder due to her total wax negligence.  It had a push button transmission, and no A/C (in Florida?).  I remember being about 9 years old and having a friend over, when my dad asked me to get the keys out of the Dart.  Apparently, my mother forgot them in the ignition.  So I galloped out to the driveway with my buddy and did the only thing I had ever seen anyone do with keys….I turned them.

The car started and my dad came blasting out of the back door and proceeded to beat my tail in front of my friends.  Yes, he later apologized when he realized that it was an accident and not just me showing off for my friends.

Another one?  Every time my report card would come home, my dad would have to look over his glasses read my grades.  Now that I am about the same age, my glasses don’t work either, so I know why he did that.  I was a pretty good student, and a typical report card consisted of all “A”’s and a “B”.  My dad would take off his glasses and, using the earpiece to point at the lone “B”, ask “What happened here?”   He never mentioned the “A”’s, but he always pointed out the “B”.

A while back, I did a pseudo- inventory of these mini-dramas that circle around in my brain, as I searched for a reason for them.  Why not a Disney trip or fishing memory?

Then it hit me!  These totally disjointed moments from my past make up my “story”.  We all have a “story”.  It’s all of our past experiences, some of them monumental or even earth-shattering, which have formed how we think of ourselves.  It’s really our own personal truth about us, and everything we do revolves around it.  Let me unpack my two flashbacks, so you get what I mean.

First, I am asked to get the keys and screw it up by starting the car.  Message received?  “David, you didn’t do that right”.  Second, I get all “A”s and one “B”, and the “B” becomes the main topic of discussion.  Message received?  “David, you didn’t do that right”.

And you know what?  Even through adulthood, I have operated believing that same “story”.  I can receive a thousand positive comments and one terrible review, and I will dwell on that one bad e-mail.  I will pick myself apart, thinking “David, you didn’t do that right”.  My personal “story” is “I can’t do anything right”.

I know people who have been abandoned by their fathers at a very young age.  When they get older, their marriages melt down and they end up divorced.  After a couple of failed relationships, often through no fault of their own, they develop a “story” that essentially says, “I’m not worth sticking around for”.

What’s worse is that people with this type of “story” end up fearing that someone will leave them, so they either stay very emotionally uncommitted, or they hold on so tightly that they suffocate the other person.  And you know what happens?  That person leaves them, which just further validates the “story” that “I’m not worth sticking around for”. It becomes self-fulfilling prophecy!

Since we all have these background-based “stories”, which are really just a lie that we buy into, how do we change it?  Simple.  Replace our “story” with what God says about us.

If your story is “Everybody leaves me”, remember that God says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deut. 31:6).  By the way, “never” means never!

If your story is “I’m not worth liking”, remember that God says you are “fearfully and wonderfully made”. (Ps.131:14).  Quit telling God that He did a bad job assembling you!  God doesn’t make junk.

And if your story is like mine, “I can’t do anything right”, take a look at what God says; “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. (Phil 4:13)

Don’t buy the lie of your past.  God’s story is the true story about us.   So what’s your story?

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David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.com. 

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It’s the mid-1980’s, and Andrew has just been fired from his long time career—- as an attorney, of all things.  Up until a few days ago, Beckett was a key player at a large conservative Philadelphia law firm.  He was the rising star.  The starting QB.  He was the guy whose number got called for the big cases.  And he was fired.

You may recognize this story line as the one from the movie “Philadelphia”, which stars Tom Hanks as Beckett and Denzel Washington as his not-so-polished attorney.  Beckett was indeed fired, and it was cited by his firm that it was performance based.  But it was, in fact, due to the young man’s diagnosis with the then-relatively-unknown disease called AIDS.  His firm wanted nothing to do with Andrew’s lifestyle or his illness, so they released him as quickly as possible.

So now Beckett is in Miller’s office, with zero options.  As they meet and exchange pleasantries, it appears to be the convergence of two legal minds.  Beckett gives Miller the backstory, and then discloses the real reason for his sudden termination from the firm.  Miller, visibly shaken at the word ‘AIDS’, states “Sorry, but I just don’t see a case, counselor”.  Miller is pretty quick to get Beckett out of his office and so calls an end to the meeting.

And what does Miller do the minute that Andrew Beckett is gone?  He sanitizes his whole office…the stapler, the chair and anything else that the sick man has touched.  Then he gets on the phone for an immediate doctor’s appointment to confirm that he too has not been infected with AIDS.  It’s really sort of comical, considering that we now know that HIV can’t be transmitted through a Swingline.

Let’s take the same scenario, and move it into our community of men, both in and out of the church.  Not the AIDS part, but Miller’s reaction to it.  We get together with other men, we sharpen each other and we pray for eachother.  At church, we greet men and we really want them to be a part of what God is doing.

However, the minute a man in our group says that he is battling pornography, is having an affair, lost his job or is in the throes of an unrecoverable marital flatspin, something happens to us.   We often back away, as if there is some way that we are going to catch it.  Just like Joe Miller’s fear of contracting AIDS from a doorknob, we pull back, sanitize ourselves and often go “superficial” on the man.  At the very moment when he needs us the most, we freak out and bail on him.

You know, Jesus made a point of hanging out with the people that you and I would be the most likely to run from.  Lepers, sick people, losers, rejects…and He loved them.  In Mark 2, Jesus said that it wasn’t the healthy who needed the doctor, but the sick.  He stopped dead in his tracks when the bleeding woman touched the hem of his garment, even though He was busy and on His way somewhere else. He healed blind guys, lepers and paralytics.  And in John 8, Jesus didn’t condemn the adulteress, even when the whole town wanted to stone her to death.  It didn’t matter if the person was physically ill, or just a societal trainwreck, Jesus cared about them.

So the next time a close friend tells you that his wife is leaving, don’t chase the guy out of your office.  Divorce isn’t contagious, addiction can’t be spread by a handshake and I promise that he won’t sneeze his cancer all over you.  Get in the game, love like Jesus and walk these guys through their pain.

Remember: “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:40)

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David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.com. 

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Dear Kids:

We don’t talk much anymore, and I’m really not sure how that happened.  When I think back on times when you were small, it brings a smile, often accompanied by painful tears.  How I miss those times when I was your hero and you were my little prince and princess.  Your giggle, the way you said “Daddy” when I walked through the door after work, or how you would run at me, on the edge of out of control, just to show me something you had drawn or built. I was your “Superman”.  I was “Daddy”.

Then I became just “Dad”.  Maybe I worked too much at the office, or didn’t engage you enough when we were in the same room?  Was it the relational meltdown between your mother and me?  Or the time we spent apart after the divorce, when I became a long-distance, part-time father and so many things were said about me?  Was it your new stepmom?  You know, she loves you like you are her own, even when it isn’t reciprocal.

Or maybe it was meeting Jesus as I slowly lost you at the same time?  As He changed me into the man that I needed to be, I tried to bring you with me on the journey.  But your memories of the “old me” and your “old life” overpowered the transformation, as you wondered what happened to your father.

Whatever the reason, the chasm between us quickly grew wide and nearly impossible to jump over.  And then you moved away.

Now I’m a stranger.  I’m the guy you only call when something breaks, or when your life isn’t going as planned.  It hurts to know that we’re like this now.  But every time you call, I still hear “Daddy” reverberating in my mind, and I do what I can to somehow regain that “S” that I used to wear on my chest.  And then you’re gone again.

They say there are always two people involved in every relationship, and I realize that I’m only half of “us”.  But let me say this:

I’m sorry for those times when I wasn’t there when you needed me to be.

I’m sorry that you had to endure the pain of loss in your life at such a young age.

I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you how proud I was of you as a person, no matter what you did or didn’t do.

I’m sorry if my actions and my words were miles apart sometimes, and when we ourselves were miles apart geographically, too.

I’m sorry I didn’t meet Jesus before you were born, because I would have been a much better father.

Please forgive me for any hurt that I caused you.

And know this:  I love you very much.  You’re my children and nothing will ever change that.  I don’t expect you to understand this until you have kids of your own.  The unconditional love a father feels for his sons and daughters is like nothing else in the world.  There is no favoritism, there’s no way to downgrade it and there’s no way to lose it.

No matter what you do or say, regardless of success or failure,  I am and always will be proud of you.  Nothing you can do will ever cause me to “unlove” you.

I hope that I can really be a part of your life again someday.  I pray that we can again all be together for the holidays. No anger, no hurt, no bitterness. Just love.

And,  just like yesterday and all the days before that, I’ll be here, waiting for God to push the Holy “Reset” button.  I hope to see you soon.

Love,
Daddy

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David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.com. 

The post An Open Letter To My Adult Children appeared first on Rough Cut Men.

You can’t blame the egg for breaking, since it has a paper thin shell that isn’t designed to be dropped.  It doesn’t make much sense to yell at your car when it sputters to a stall because you forgot to stop and put gas in it.  And I don’t need to explain the whole “big pansy” cause-and-effect, do I?

So why is it that I keep hearing men whining about marriages, jobs and mortgages, but simultaneously verbalizing exactly zero responsibility?  I hear a bunch of hapless and helpless victims.  If we are who we say we are, it’s time to stop playing the victim and it’s time to start seeing how we may have contributed to our own disaster.

How about a little rundown of some real-life examples?

“None of my friends like me, so I just avoid hanging with the jerks”— Really?  If every one of them doesn’t like you, and you are always one half of the equation, then maybe it’s time to take a good look at the common denominator in all of those relationships.  When we keep getting bad reviews, we need to look in the mirror. It ain’t them.  It’s us.

“I keep praying for God to change my wife”— Come on, man.  Have you ever taken a hard look at 1 Peter 3:7?  God isn’t interested in our prayers to change the other person.  His desire is the change US into the image of His Son.

“I keep praying for provision, but God isn’t listening”— Since when did we become God?  Were we there when He laid the foundations of the earth?  It’s not common reading, but take ten minutes and read Job 38.  Then pray, wait and do your part as He opens doors.  But for the love of Pete (who the heck is “Pete”, anyway?), quit whining about God not listening.

“I can’t find a job. No one ever calls me. These companies suck.”— Ever been hunting?  You stalk the prey and kill it.  The deer is NOT going to walk into your living room and say, “Man, I’ve been looking for you.  Please shoot me.”  That’s why it’s called “job hunting”.  It’s not the fault of the businesses for not calling.  Be relentless.  Go out and kill the job.  Call them back until they are sick of hearing your voice on the other end of the phone.  God will provide.

You want one from the Bible?  Try on King Saul in 1 Samuel 15.  After God specifically tells Saul to go kill ALL of the Amalekites (men, women, kids, hamsters, etc.), he decides to keep some of the best animals.  Samuel, the prophet, shows up and asks Saul why he didn’t follow God’s command.  Saul’s answer? He blames the soldiers he was with.  He owns precisely none of it, in spite of being the king over everyone.

We are only responsible for us, not the other guy.  They may or may not be a contributor to our current state of affairs, but blaming them, while accepting no personal responsibility ourselves, is just ridiculous.  It’s high time we took our eyes off of the other guy and started focusing on ourselves.  And on God.

Friends don’t like you?:  “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)

Wish you had a better marriage?:  “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3)

Playing a good church game, but things going wrong?:  “Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD?” (1 Samuel 15:22)

Think God doesn’t care?  Read 1 Peter 5:7, Luke 12:7 and John 3:16.

Bottom line?  Quit whining about the other guy.  It’s not always the other person’s fault.  We can only control how we respond.  You weren’t dealt a bad hand, and not everyone is out to get you.

You are a soldier and a son of the Most High God…start acting like one…

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David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.com. 

The post Playing the Victim appeared first on Rough Cut Men.

More bad news?  If you have an avocado colored refrigerator, wood paneling, shag carpet or orange countertops, your home is going to need some serious renovations before you can sell it.  Times have changed…again.

If you are anything like me, the concept of how fast things change is pretty overwhelming.  My dad is a lawyer who refuses to use e-mail most of the time, and he may even still have a fax machine that uses that weird paper that came on rolls.  It’s almost impossible to keep up with the iPad or the smartphone, or all of the apps that are available for each of them, since they are in a constant state of flux.

Here’s the worst news of all.  If you still define men’s ministry as a Saturday morning breakfast or Bible Study, then you might as well stick a fork in it, because it’s done.  Times have changed, and so have men.  Maybe you’ve noticed that, no matter how many times you invite someone to a men’s event, it’s the precise day that he has to mow the grass, coach soccer or do his hair?

Craig Groeshel, pastor of Oklahoma City’s Lifechurch.tv and creator of the YouVersion Bible smartphone application, once tweeted that their YouVersion “app” was opened 43 times per second in January 2012.  That’s 2,850 times per minute.  That should give you a pretty good indication of how today’s man is spending time in the Word.

What’s even more compelling is that men are often connected to a church, yet completely disconnected from Jesus, the Word, and other men.  You ask how this can happen?  Simple.  We are totally missing the mark when it comes to reaching men.  Men are moving at Mach 2 and we are still building propeller airplanes for them.  They see no value in what we are doing, so they don’t show up.

Let’s put this in sports terminology for a minute.   I live in Tampa Bay, Florida, and I am not a hockey fan.  In spite of winning the Stanley Cup in 2004, I just can’t get into the Lightning.  If a guy I hardly knew offered me a ticket, I would probably pass.  Now if that same guy offered me a ticket to see the Florida Gators play football, I’m going.  Period.  On the other hand, if a good friend invited me to that same Lightning game, I would probably take him up on it, just to hang out with him..  The difference is obvious.  There is a relationship there which transcends whether I even enjoy what I’m about to attend.

In ministry, we have this misconception that it’s all about the “what” we’re doing, and not the “who” we’re doing it with.  Now I am a pretty big Bible reader, but if some guy I barely know invites me to a 32-week study of Leviticus, I can assure you that I will be mowing the yard.  Yet this is what we do as men’s ministry people year after year.  It’s really the definition of insanity personified.  Shame on us.

Yes, I truly believe that the Word is living and active and sharper than any two edged sword (Hebrews 4:12).   I absolutely believe that “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God” (Romans 10:17).  It’s not the Word that has changed, but much like an 8-track or a VHS tape, we absolutely must change the way we are getting men exposed to the Word of God.  They are ready, but our methods are archaic and we are losing men fast.

If we want to get guys to know each other, and Jesus, then it’s time to catch up to them.  It’s time to create avenues where men can just be real and get to know eachother.  Keep it short, meet real needs and encourage them to accept others and to be accepted. Once they trust us, then God will inspire them to spend time with Him, too.  And that’s Good News!

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David Dusek is founder and director of Rough Cut Men Ministries and author of Rough Cut Men: A Man’s Battle Guide to Building Real Relationships With Each Other and With Jesus. Rough Cut Men has been presented to NASCAR teams, at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy, at military bases around the world and at hundreds of churches and men’s conferences of every denomination. To find out more about the Rough Cut Men, or to book David for an upcoming men’s event, please check out roughcutmen.com. 

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